Marriage and relationships are very meaningful to humans as they bring a great deal of fulfillment and happiness. Strong connections with loved ones, colleagues and friends enable people to be healthy and highly productive. In addition healthy relationships provide an important source of love, guidance and support.
Though fulfilling and supportive relationship are sought by most people, they do not come easily. Relationship experts say that healthy and balanced relationships require a lot of hard work, social skills and time to grow into maturity.
In some instances great relationships breakdown due to simple complications that can be easily solved if only the people involved knew how to go about them.
When meaningful connections break down, the people involved feel disappointed, uncertain and lonely.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, however great couples learn to use adversities to strengthen their connection. Successful couples do not sail away at the first sign of trouble; they hang in there, deal with the problem and master the art of how to work through the sticky issues that arise daily.
Most couples achieve this by observing other successful couples, keeping an open mind, reading self-help books or simply using trial and error techniques.
Common marriage and relationship problems include:
Communication is at the heart of most marriage and relationship problems. Though the term may be used by different people to mean different things, it basically means not understanding the other person’s point of view.
Communication problems usually stem from refusal to allow existence of the other partner’s view unlike to not understanding it. Basically it is an unwillingness to take the time to genuinely listen, care and understand so that you can avoid living in a loveless marriage.
In most relationships the interest seem to lie in getting their personal point of view heard and understood compared to having a genuine interest in understanding the other partner’s point of view. While this may seem good to the individual who is getting all the attention and understanding, here is the irony.
If you care to listen and understand the other person, you are likely to get equal attention and understanding from your partner. To truly understand and be understood by the other person, you must be willing to see the world through their eyes, not just your own. If all people listened as much as they spoke, real connection would actually take place.
2- Unfinished business from the past
Unresolved problems from a person’s past are some of the issues that commonly affect relationships. If a person grew up in a loud, abusive and violent environment, that person’s response to confrontation and conflict will be different from a person who grew up in an environment with healthy conflict resolution systems.
In a relationship, likes attract like. This means that it is common for people with poor conflict resolution skills to find and attract a person with similar limitations even without being aware of what they are getting into. In such relationships, there will be plenty of communication complications.
Studies conducted by marriage retreat Christian shows that staying friends is more difficult when there is consistent conflict which leaves you feeling angry, hurt or disappointed.
Dealing with conflict effectively is critical to ensure that your partner does not live with accumulated resentment that is waiting to explode in future. Conflicts usually begin early in relationships but are often ignored in an attempt to please the other partner or when one spouse realizes that they cannot be managed.
Every couple goes through a plateau period in their sex life. Lack of sexual education and awareness often aggravates this problem and makes it almost insurmountable.
Mary Jo Fay; author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says that sex is one of the last that you should ever give up. Fay stipulates that sex tends to bring you closer, keep the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy and releases hormones that have positive effect on your body.
According to Fay, great sex is not always spontaneous, it is mostly planned. You can consider making an appointment, especially during the day or evening when both of you are not tired. To ensure that you have all the time to yourself, you can request friends or family to take the kids for a sleepover especially on a Friday night.
Apart from planning, you need to understand what truly turns on your partner. To help you understand this, consider making a personal sexy list. Swap the lists and use them to perfect scenarios that turn you on.
Betrayals usually cause a great deal of pain, mistrusts and disappointment to friends or spouses. Betrayal can be in the form of an affair, hidden addiction or financial secret. In some cases betrayal can end up in break ups especially where one party feels too aggrieved to reconcile.
Though most people would rather work through betrayals and affairs to overcome the pain and restore the relationship, the decision to work through the problem created by such events have to come from both partners.
6- Cross-cultural issues
Marriage and relationships usually bring two people from different backgrounds. These two must work through their differences to establish a successful connection.
While this process may be almost smooth and straightforward for some, it is not smooth sailing for others.